'Tis the Month for Lovers, Part 3

      I'd like to offer a few more bits of wisdom from Thich Nhat Hanh's book, The Art of Communicating.  Here, he talks about the six mantras of effective and loving communication.

     The first mantra is "I am here for you."  This sets the tone for deep, compassionate listening. 

     The second mantra is "I know you are there, and I am very happy."  You can use this when you are with someone you love, or even like a little. 

     The third mantra is "I know you suffer, and that is why I am here for you."  This helps diffuse a tense situation and allows the other person to vent while you focus on your breathing and compassionate listening. 

     The fourth mantra is "I suffer, please help."  This is used when you need to vent and have another listen to you with compassion and understanding. 

     The fifth mantra is "This is a happy moment."  This is used when two people are together and are sharing a positive experience. 

     The sixth mantra is used when someone praises or criticizes you.  For example, when they tell you that you are the best at doing something, you think of your many mistakes, and answer, "You are partly right."  Or if they criticize you, perhaps unfairly, you think of your successes and answer, "You are partly right."  It helps keep your ego in check.

     I found myself highlighting and bookmarking many pages in this book.  Perhaps you will find it helpful as well.  Highly recommended.

     

'Tis the Month for Lovers, Part 2

      A couple of weeks ago, we were exploring the wonderful book by the recently deceased Buddhist monk and peace warrior, Thich Nhat Hahn, The Art of Communicating.  For anyone in a serious relationship, or anyone who wishes to have greater insight into how to communicate better with fellow Earth-dwellers, this book is for you.  

     Here are a couple of highlights:  

"When we say something that nourishes us and uplifts the people around us, we are feeding love and compassion.  When we speak and act in a way that causes tension and anger, we are nourishing violence and suffering."

And:

"I define happiness as the capacity to understand and to love, because without understanding and love no happiness could be possible.  We don't have enough understanding and love, which is why we suffer so much.  That is what we are thirsting for." 

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

(image courtesy of pixabay.com)

'Tis the Month for Lovers

      February is the month for lovers, and I have a book I'd like to recommend for anyone who is in a serious relationship, whether with a lover, a good friend, a co-worker, or a family member.  In short, this book has good advice for anyone who does not live full-time in a cave.  

     What is this book? you ask.  It's The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh, who passed away January 22, 2022 at the age of 95.  He was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who wrote several books, showing how to put mindfulness practice in various life situations.  You may also want to check out some of his other books as well.

    It includes wisdom about how to communicate with ourselves (and we so often fail to do so honestly, don't we?), communicating with others, how to practice loving speech, how to communicate mindfully at work, and communicating in difficult situations.  Very helpful and practical advice!  Highly recommended.